How I kissed Marlon Williams on The Cheek Last Night

I stood up and waved my hands, and apparently that’s a personality trait now

Last night, I was at a Marlon Williams concert in Nelson.

It was a great seat, with a lovely friend, good energy, everyone doing that very polite concert thing where we are all clearly having feelings but in a very contained, socially acceptable way. You know the vibe, hand up, nod, don’t be weird, don’t disrupt anything, just stay in your allocated emotional lane.

Anyway, he asked for requests.

And like most people in a room full of humans trying very hard to behave, everyone just put their hand up.

Very neat. Very controlled. Very “let’s not make this a moment.”

And then I stood up and waved, with both hands. I did contemplate standing on my chair!

I didn’t plan it. I didn’t overthink it. I didn’t do that whole internal committee meeting where your brain brings in risk analysis, social judgment, and imaginary opinions from strangers who don’t actually know you.

I just did it.

I did it scared.

Like properly, I was aware I was slightly outside the normal behaviour pattern, but I moved anyway before my brain could talk me out of it.

He saw me, came over, and said he loved a stander.

Which I now think is a very real category of human.

There are hand raisers. There are polite nodders. And apparently there are standers.

And I have somehow become one without applying for the role.

We had this really lovely moment then. A hug, a kiss on the cheek, a bit of laughter, slightly surreal, slightly “how did I end up here in a theatre doing this like it’s completely normal.”

And I actually had this strange out-of-body feeling in it. Like I was watching myself a little bit and thinking oh there she is again, that slightly wild version of me that used to just say yes to things without checking the room first.

And I realised I love her, I missed her.

Not in a nostalgic way, more like she is still in there.

Afterwards, a few people came up and said they thought it was cool.

Which is always interesting because in your head, you assume everyone is judging your entire personality in real time. But actually, most people are just quietly wishing they had done it too, or wondering if they are allowed to do something slightly different as well.

The thing I keep thinking about is social conformity

We are constantly scanning the room without even realising it.

Is this how we are meant to behave here? Am I matching everyone else? Is this the level of visibility that is safe right now?

And most of the time, we don’t even make a conscious decision. We just default to blending in.

Not because we are scared exactly, but because it is efficient. It is familiar. It is what we learned to do to stay connected to the group.

So we wait. We watch. We let other people set the pace.

Hand up instead of standing up. Observe instead of participating. Think about it instead of doing it.

We don’t stay still because we can’t move.

We stay still because we’ve learned to read the room and match it.

We’ve learned that fitting in usually feels safer than standing out, even when nothing is actually wrong.

So we wait. We watch. We make ourselves slightly smaller than we need to be without even noticing.

And I think the invitation for all of us is just to catch that moment when it happens. Not to force anything big or dramatic, just to notice when you’re holding yourself back for no real reason.

Because sometimes life isn’t asking you to be confident. It’s just asking you to move first, even if you’re a bit unsure, even if you’re thinking omg girl really, and even if it feels slightly ridiculous in your head.

And maybe try being a little more spontaneous than you think you’re allowed to be.

I hope you know you are absolutely magical.

Love and love

Caron xox