Notes from my workshop for women.
You don't have to wait for a date or romantic evening with someone else to get in touch with your sexy confident energy.
‘Feeling sexy’ is such a tricky achievement for most people, and women, in particular, seem to struggle to feel good about themselves and their sexuality.
This used to be me until I allowed myself the time, focus and energy to rediscover my sensual, sexy self, and I love it!
Sexual confidence is not all about sex, at its core sexual confidence is feeling comfortable in your body, knowing you deserve pleasure.
Why do you want to feel sexy?
We often set the bar too high for ourselves or others. Or we wait for another day, one day when we look a certain way or our kids have left home or whatever other acceptable excuses we make up.
It’s like we don’t want ourselves to be happy.
We get in our own way.
Let’s feel sexy just as we are.
When you validate yourself, it builds self-confidence, and this is self-love.
Try the Louise Hay mantra, it works for me.
“I approve of myself”…repeat 300 times a day or more…do it now or do 100 reps x 3.
You’ll have better posture stand taller breathe easier, relax, stay open when you tap into feeling sexier.
Write down your own reasons now.
Some of mine are...
I have lived too long feeling like I’m not good enough, or in toxic relationships, I want to feel desire, confident and have fun just I am.
When I give time and focus to sexier energy, I feel more alive, more revitalized, and more me.
Balancing Your Feminine and Masculine Energies
We are all naturally a combination of masculine and feminine energies. Although they’re commonly associated with gender, it’s not referring to that at all.
We live in a culture where masculine energy is valued. Competition, drive, outcome, and hustle are indicators of success.
We get swept up into this game and subscribe to these values but as a result, our feminine energy takes a hike. This can result in us feeling empty, anxious, lost and overwhelmed.
Are you running too much masculine energy? Or a little too in touch with your divine feminine? What does that even mean?
Masculine energy is more DOING, BLACK & WHITE THINKING, CONTROLLING, FORCING.
Feminine energy is more FEELING, EMBRACING, FLOWFUL, LETTING GO, SURRENDER, OPEN AND ABLE TO BE VULNERABLE, FIERCE GRACEFUL STRENGTH, CALM CONFIDENCE
Let’s embody both energies, it’s not about being a man or woman, it's energy, it’s how we choose to operate.
We get stuck in masculine often at work, or if we have an unbalanced masc./fem partner, many feminine women become unbalanced, I did.
Masculine ideals are caveman/survival mode, locking down emotions, hiding/escaping, fixing, leading, controlling.
We live in a world where economy/success at work grabs our attention, it's masculine.
Men AND Women can get out of balance.
Women in too much masculine energy can display energies and behaviours of over-controlling power, success at work, ego, how we appear, possessions, money... we think we have to act like a man to be respected.
This often merges with our private lives and relationships.
Balanced Feminine energy is all sorts of things fierce fire, calm nurturing, presence, love, art, nature, beauty, dance, collaboration over competition.
Where are you out of balance? Write it out
These are some of my masculine behaviours that can get out of balance.
I know when I am unbalanced, I feel tight, too forceful.
I go to too much need to control. Do it all by myself, fix, I get too competitive, feel like I need to be the leader.
When I am in too much feminine energy, I focus too much on the feelings of others. Doing work only when I “feels” like it, being very passive in business, and not being able to take constructive criticism. I can get needy of affirmation or praise.
Ways to balance the M & S
Observe your roles, at work, at home, friends, lovers...
What are they or are you much the same. Or do you separate the rolls and blend them with ease?
Are you too scared to speak up, or over speaking up? Is your body language defensive or open?
Here are some easy and powerful practices to help you balance your divine feminine energy in a masculine energy-driven world.
Stop wanting to nurture and take care of everyone. Remember haste and rescuing/fixing can be masculine energy.
Shoulders back, legs crossed if seated, smile softly, soft open eye contact, soft clear tone.
What are you wearing underneath and on top? Choose lingerie and clothes that spark your shakti energy.
Body talk – Mindfully scan your beautiful, unique body and give love and thanks.
Music, choose and use your fav music.
Burn scented Candles every day.
Wear a couple of different fragrances.
Choose books/movies that inspire your sexy soul.
Dancing, move your hips,
Practice yoga, become more open and flexible.
Focus your mind on your beautiful body with four-part breathing. Connecting your physical energy to your spiritual energy.
Massage - After having a shower, moisturise your body slowly or give yourself a breast or butt massage.
Change up your makeup/hair/nails.
Which foods help you feel sensual, how do you eat?
Celebrate your individuality. That shows you are confident, and everyone knows confidence is the sexiest thing!
To-Do at home
Write 10 things about yourself you love
Use a Mantra – I approve of myself or something of your own, repeat it thousands of times.
What words would you love to hear? Write them down, and say them to yourself as you go to sleep and when you awaken.
Change your hair, makeup, clothes
4 mins to easily activate your shakti feminine sexy energy
Touch your own hands for1 min
Touch your lips sensually, rub on a juicy lip balm, exfoliate your lips, for 1 min.
Self-massage neck, breasts, anywhere on your body for 1 min
Move your hips sensually for 1 min
What’s one specific thing you will tune into – practice?
This is not about you changing, it’s about you activating what’s already there.
If you feel like your sexy baseline is weak, it might take some time to get to the point where you feel like a 24/7 sexpot.
But by taking the time to focus on tuning into balancing your energies, you will take a big step forward.
So, rinse and repeat and swish your gorgeous hips as you walk, wearing your beautiful lingerie for your eyes only.
Next stop stay tuned – Workshop 2 – Spark your sexy fire and turn it up.
Love and sexy knickers,